Unfinished Business 8: Untitled

Another unfinished post, obviously the overture to a magnificent Rifter fist fight. I think I killed the Hookbill after stalking it for hours.

Jumping into the system I immediately felt something was wrong. And I don't mean I felt it like I feel a cool breeze coming on on a warm summer night. I mean I felt it like a planet crashing into my face. I had entered Bogelek, the worst scum hole in the known universe, and two young ruffians were in local. A quick scan revealed a Dramiel and a Caldari Navy Hookbill - a deadly combination, much like a marmot in a bathtub going after your Johnson. From previous experience I expected them to have guns attached to their ships!

People, let me get this straight: Pator Tech School is committed to make New Eden a great place for the whole family. No sex, no profanity, no violence!
Eurolring Korneri, CEO Pator Tech School

Now one thing at a time, I've decided to enforce that no-violence policy first. Flipping through the Rifter's manual pages I did not only not find the section on how to deal with unruly faction frigs (and I remembered the other day when I ... ah never mind, that story ain't safe for work), I didn't find the manual in my trunk in the first place. What a crap.

War on Mission Runners

In the ongoing PTS campaign War on Mission Runners I haven't seen much action lately. My probing ships sitting scattered and unused in stations with complicated sanitary conditions where my usual ship hangars were first transformed into an ugly dude with a moustache (and it wasn't Saftsuze!) then later into a scary door that never opens. The longer I look at it the more I'm scared of what's behind!

Tracking disruptors don't kill people, guns kill people!

Anyway. All weekend I was busy losing expensive ships: My first faction fit Slicer, my experimental Jaguar and worst of all a bunch of my beloved Rifters. That left me with only my Firetail which is a gift from Doctor Genocide who gave it to me for no reason! Also I secretly suspect he's no Doctor at all cause he tends to kill people and cats rather than ... ehm ... doing academic stuff ... like reading the newspaper and ... ahm ... wearing glasses. So that Firetail was all I had left - I down fitted it somewhat to make for a less embarrassing lossmail and I set sail for unknown shores.

After some poking here and some fine spelunking there I found two Dramiels in Gulmorogod, one of them piloted by the known conscientious objector Angel Rodriguez. I know these guys are supposed to be fragile so I set course to a planet to scare him straight. We met there and yada yada yada, I warped out in hull and barely alive.

The second Dramiel was still in a mission. Angel and one of his corp mates were trying to talk him into a 1v1, but he wouldn't. Also there were a lot of sisters on scan. I decided to give it a try myself, and I docked and changed into a probing ship littering the system with another five Sister's probes. The target in the mission was very nervous now, warping between safe spots I couldn't get 100% lock on him. But eventually the other pirates left the system and he returned to his mission. After maybe 20 minutes of waiting and probing (Angel and other people passing by made him leave the mission every time!) I had him. I changed back into my Firetail of ... Utter Destruction warped through a few gates ... and found myself 40 kilometers from him. D'oh! But fortunately he engaged!

Now why am I telling you all this? Well, I read this excellent blog post the other day. And while it's true that belt PVP is the foundation of my low sec activities I think that hunting mission runners is what puts piracy into ... hmm ... whatpiracyisallabout. Belt PVP is mostly consensual, I mean, come on, who except for a few rookies rats or mines in low sec? Nobody, that's who!

Probing missions is much less frequent and since probes are in the overview by default (thanks for nothing CCP!)  it is much harder to do. I love the preparation and the suspense and all those stupid assumptions I'm making while moving my probes. And when I get one, it's so much more rewarding!

GF everybody!

Interstellar Dramiel Burst Postponed

There I sat in my Rupture minding my own business. You know, like running through management Powerpoint slides about how Pator Tech School will change the NPC corporation game in Q3 ("significantly") and how to improve KPIs within my board area, which had been renamed (again) recently to Piracy and Piracy Related Services (PTS PPRS) when suddenly this rambunctious Dramiel shows up on scan with a rather young pilot behind the wheel.

Heart Shaped Box

Now, there seems to be a rule that any pilot not currently sitting in or in fleet with a Dramiel hates that little frigate.  Rest assured, I'm a rare exception to this rule, I just think they should all go to faction hell the second they undock. Musing about Dramiels and their general hateability, life, the universe and everything I had an idea: Wouldn't it be nice if this Dramiel had an unfortunate accident?

Only few minutes later, the faction frigate still on scan I pulled myself together: Why should I rely on accidents happening here?

I'm a pirate damn it and every ship on scan is an accident waiting to happen!

Soon after I figured out which one was the warp button the warm vibrations of my warp drives caressed my butt - I was about to put myself in a belt hoping the Dramiel would join. Meanwhile I was building up my hate using a new technique I had been taught at a PTS workshop last tuesday, by imagining the Dramiel pilot chatting with his Dramiel buddies in a Dramiel pilots only channel, laughing about us non-Dramiel pilots. Boy, that got me angry! PVP, you know, is all about the right amount of hate and stuff.

In a fast german pirate faction ship, I'm amazed that I survived.
An airbag saved my life!

A few seconds after I arrived 100km from the belt the Dramiel followed and burned towards my position. As usual I overheated everything and as he entered the 35km radius I started my MWD flying away from him and let slip the dogs of war. Also I had a blood thirsty flight of Warrior II drones sent his direction.

The hard part of killing a Dramiel with a Rupture is to actually hit it without dying first. It's even harder not to let them warp out once they see you refuse to die first. And the hardest part of them all is to see them actually do it. I cried when the Dramiel warped out in hull while my coward crew was relieved to live another day.

OK, there goes my plan to keep my blog posts short, simple and informative. I seem to have exhausted all my energy before I even started to write about what I set out to in the first place: How I killed that same Dramiel a few days later. This, much like the destruction of the faction frigate, will have to be postponed.