I'm clearing out my blog's draft box. This one is a rather longish intro to a Rifter killing spree I had one weekend with about 10 or 15 victims.A few weeks ago the Minmatar manufacturer of the Rifter announced a mandatory safety recall on approximately 47,300 Rifters to fix a problem with the rear drive while backing up: In some rare circumstances the gasket between the ships engine exhaust and the bubble water pipe of the on board hot tub heatificator could break - well I don't understand a single word here except hot tub, but the consequences are pretty clear: - causing the brave pilot to be fried in his Rifter like the pale nerd I am on the beach of Ipanema in the hot summer sun. (I would very much include a picture of that beach but I'm afraid to because I'm writing this from my PTS office in Amamake and I suspect they're monitoring my network traffic since the last incident.) Needless to say I immediately returned my Rifters to the repair shop and got me some patched ones from the Pator Tech School corporate hangar.
Showing posts with label Pator Tech School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pator Tech School. Show all posts
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Unfinished Business 3: Rifter Safety Recall
Monday, June 27, 2011
War on Mission Runners
In the ongoing PTS campaign War on Mission Runners I haven't seen much action lately. My probing ships sitting scattered and unused in stations with complicated sanitary conditions where my usual ship hangars were first transformed into an ugly dude with a moustache (and it wasn't Saftsuze!) then later into a scary door that never opens. The longer I look at it the more I'm scared of what's behind!
Anyway. All weekend I was busy losing expensive ships: My first faction fit Slicer, my experimental Jaguar and worst of all a bunch of my beloved Rifters. That left me with only my Firetail which is a gift from Doctor Genocide who gave it to me for no reason! Also I secretly suspect he's no Doctor at all cause he tends to kill people and cats rather than ... ehm ... doing academic stuff ... like reading the newspaper and ... ahm ... wearing glasses. So that Firetail was all I had left - I down fitted it somewhat to make for a less embarrassing lossmail and I set sail for unknown shores.
After some poking here and some fine spelunking there I found two Dramiels in Gulmorogod, one of them piloted by the known conscientious objector Angel Rodriguez. I know these guys are supposed to be fragile so I set course to a planet to scare him straight. We met there and yada yada yada, I warped out in hull and barely alive.
The second Dramiel was still in a mission. Angel and one of his corp mates were trying to talk him into a 1v1, but he wouldn't. Also there were a lot of sisters on scan. I decided to give it a try myself, and I docked and changed into a probing ship littering the system with another five Sister's probes. The target in the mission was very nervous now, warping between safe spots I couldn't get 100% lock on him. But eventually the other pirates left the system and he returned to his mission. After maybe 20 minutes of waiting and probing (Angel and other people passing by made him leave the mission every time!) I had him. I changed back into my Firetail of ... Utter Destruction warped through a few gates ... and found myself 40 kilometers from him. D'oh! But fortunately he engaged!
Now why am I telling you all this? Well, I read this excellent blog post the other day. And while it's true that belt PVP is the foundation of my low sec activities I think that hunting mission runners is what puts piracy into ... hmm ... whatpiracyisallabout. Belt PVP is mostly consensual, I mean, come on, who except for a few rookies rats or mines in low sec? Nobody, that's who!
Probing missions is much less frequent and since probes are in the overview by default (thanks for nothing CCP!) it is much harder to do. I love the preparation and the suspense and all those stupid assumptions I'm making while moving my probes. And when I get one, it's so much more rewarding!
GF everybody!
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| Tracking disruptors don't kill people, guns kill people! |
After some poking here and some fine spelunking there I found two Dramiels in Gulmorogod, one of them piloted by the known conscientious objector Angel Rodriguez. I know these guys are supposed to be fragile so I set course to a planet to scare him straight. We met there and yada yada yada, I warped out in hull and barely alive.
The second Dramiel was still in a mission. Angel and one of his corp mates were trying to talk him into a 1v1, but he wouldn't. Also there were a lot of sisters on scan. I decided to give it a try myself, and I docked and changed into a probing ship littering the system with another five Sister's probes. The target in the mission was very nervous now, warping between safe spots I couldn't get 100% lock on him. But eventually the other pirates left the system and he returned to his mission. After maybe 20 minutes of waiting and probing (Angel and other people passing by made him leave the mission every time!) I had him. I changed back into my Firetail of ... Utter Destruction warped through a few gates ... and found myself 40 kilometers from him. D'oh! But fortunately he engaged!
Now why am I telling you all this? Well, I read this excellent blog post the other day. And while it's true that belt PVP is the foundation of my low sec activities I think that hunting mission runners is what puts piracy into ... hmm ... whatpiracyisallabout. Belt PVP is mostly consensual, I mean, come on, who except for a few rookies rats or mines in low sec? Nobody, that's who!
Probing missions is much less frequent and since probes are in the overview by default (thanks for nothing CCP!) it is much harder to do. I love the preparation and the suspense and all those stupid assumptions I'm making while moving my probes. And when I get one, it's so much more rewarding!
GF everybody!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Amamake Now!
It's been quiet lately because after a little R&R (fishing in Vard) I've been busy with a new special operation. One of our Pator Tech School pilots, Shadeslayer, a highly decorated newbie, had gone rogue somewhere in the vicinity of Amamake. With the help of a native Angel tribe he had established a regime of unmatched cruelty and was operating without any decent restraint terrorizing the whole area and camping Heretic Army at the PTS station. Quite obviously he had gone insane, totally insane and his methods had become unsound.
I was assigned to terminate his command.
For days I had been travelling up the Metropolis pipe and finally, I found him in the heart of darkness, in Amamake, Belt VI-3, in a Thrasher, escorted by his native goons. The hunt was over. I didn't care about orders from PTS head quarters any more, I didn't care about this war. I just wanted this maniac dead.
Because my trusty PTS Patrol Rifter had already taken serious damage from prior engagements I decided to call in an air strike to clear the whole belt and everyone within a 300,000 kilometers radius. Soon after I dialled the number I had the headquarters on the horn:
Fifteen minutes later, unable to call in the air strike and totally devastated about the fact that the company ship order procedure had been changed once again I decided to go in without backup. Special Forces style.
Forcing the gear stick from P to "Mild Warp" and overheating everything including my new vibrating captain's chair I went all-in and landed some 10 kilometers from my target. As soon as I got in range I started shooting his fearsome ratting fit Thrasher. Throwing in all his nine days of training and EVE experience he gave me a hell of fight! And also the two escorting Angel frigates were all over me. But knowing the major weak spot of the Minmatar Destroyer I finally managed to land a wrecking shot at the parallel port (yes, the printer port!) and the wicked vessel transformed into metal space Goulash!
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| PTS Air Cavalry |
For days I had been travelling up the Metropolis pipe and finally, I found him in the heart of darkness, in Amamake, Belt VI-3, in a Thrasher, escorted by his native goons. The hunt was over. I didn't care about orders from PTS head quarters any more, I didn't care about this war. I just wanted this maniac dead.
Because my trusty PTS Patrol Rifter had already taken serious damage from prior engagements I decided to call in an air strike to clear the whole belt and everyone within a 300,000 kilometers radius. Soon after I dialled the number I had the headquarters on the horn:
"Hello Almighty, Almighty, this is Mellow Moustache, over."I was holding the line and five minutes later-crazy Shadeslayer fortunately still in the belt with his good time buddies-I got the automated support on the line:
"Mellow Moustache, this is Almighty, how may I direct your call, over."
"Almighty, this is Mellow Moustache, I need an air strike at Amamake VI-3 in like 15 minutes, over."
"Mellow Moustache, this is Almighty, I can create an air strike support ticket for you and second level support will get in touch with you as soon as possible, over."
"Almighty, this is Mellow Moustache, I don't need a ticket, I need an immediate air strike, over."
"Mellow Moustache, this is Almighty, please hold the line, I will forward your request to second level support in Ryddinjorn, over."
"To access your killboard stats please press 1.There goes my simple plan. Last week I spilt a Banana Milk Shake 2GO all over my com controls and some keys were still stuck, among others the much needed "3". So I selected "2" instead and got some information on the company ship order process. Turns out I can't order ships which emit more than 150mg of black matter per AU any more! Bummer.
For information on the company ship order process please press 2.
To call in an air strike please press 3."
Fifteen minutes later, unable to call in the air strike and totally devastated about the fact that the company ship order procedure had been changed once again I decided to go in without backup. Special Forces style.
Forcing the gear stick from P to "Mild Warp" and overheating everything including my new vibrating captain's chair I went all-in and landed some 10 kilometers from my target. As soon as I got in range I started shooting his fearsome ratting fit Thrasher. Throwing in all his nine days of training and EVE experience he gave me a hell of fight! And also the two escorting Angel frigates were all over me. But knowing the major weak spot of the Minmatar Destroyer I finally managed to land a wrecking shot at the parallel port (yes, the printer port!) and the wicked vessel transformed into metal space Goulash!
Monday, February 14, 2011
PTS Low Security Space Patrol
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| Punisher Incident (from Sobczynski Flight Protocol) |
Saturday, 2344: The Drakes Incident (Siside/Heimatar)
Pator Tech School (PTS) employee Sobczynski patrolling low sec notices two drakes harassing NPCs in a belt. Several attempts to separate and kite the offenders fail--incoming damage is surprisingly high. PTS equipment was damaged, but due to the extraordinary piloting skills employee Sobczynski gets his ship (Rupture) out alive every time. Finally a stern warning is issued to the criminal pilots through local.
Incident summary: Two or more Drakes can't be tanked in a Rupture.
Local chat evidence: [ 2011.02.13 00:06:06 ] Haoran Ning > lol
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| Cruor: Web and Neut FTW! |
PTS employee Sobczynski was ambushed at the Amamake gate. PTS equipment (Rupture) and one enemy vessel (Crusader) destroyed.
Lesson learned (again): Avoid Auga/Amamake gate at all times. Even if you have to use the bathroom urgently.
Sunday, 1320: The Gate Gun Bug Report (Auga/Heimatar)
PTS employee Sobczynski loses PTS patrol vessel (SAR Rifter) due to a an error in Eve aggression mechanics. The bug causes gate guns to fire at PTS employees in case they attack a neutral target within gate gun range. CCP Quality Assurance has been informed.
Lesson learned: None!
Sunday, 1614: The Failed Stabber Fleet Issue Arrest (Aliette/Sinq Laison)
PTS employee Sobczynski fetches a Stabber Fleet Issue attempting to mind its own business. After several attempts to secure the Stabber Sobczynski decides to resort to the last step: Raw gun fire. But the enemies electronic counter measures lead to the destruction of a PTS Patrol Rupture.
Sunday, 1654: The Cruor Inspection Incident (Siseide/Heimatar)
A known offender refuses inspection of his Cruor. PTS employee Sobczynski insists. PTS equipment (Rifter) was destroyed.
Lesson learned: Check faction frigate boni before engaging.
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| I think I got a whiplash! |
PTS employee Sobczynski's second attempt (using an Artillery Rifter) to arrest the Cruor pilot which was now using a Merlin fails after a long argument due to disruptor burnout. The offender fled the crime scene. Both vessels severely damaged. The offender refuses to pay his fine, legal department has been informed.
Log abstract: [ 2011.02.13 18:03:10 ] (notify) The module is too damaged to be onlined.
Sunday, 2017: The Vexor (Ezzara/Devoid)
PTS employee Sobczynski engaged a suspected NPC harasser and ore thief with his Rifter. The offending Vexor pilot failed to comply. Sobczynski's RL character's internet connection collapsed during the fight. PTS equipment severely damaged, repair facilities in Ezzara had to be used to restore the damaged PTS Patrol Rifter.
Sunday, 2211: The Punisher Incident (Egghelende/Sinq Laison)
PTS employee Sobczynski spotted a loitering Punisher pilot at a planet. After a rather long engagement the Punisher could be disposed of. Enemy reinforcements could be avoided.
Sunday, 2226: The Ishkur (Egghelende/Sinq Laison)
Another NPC harassment detected in an Egghelende belt. On approach PTS pilot Sobczynski's Rifter was shot at ruthlessly and had to disengage. The second attempt to resolve the issue by kiting the offender and defusing most of his Warrior II drones failed, because the Ishkur pilot managed to warp away before Sobczynski could close in for the final conciliation.
Lesson learned: While it's easy to pop webbed drones it's hard to keep the culprit pointed all the time.
Sunday, 2307: The Thorax (Amamake/Heimatar)
In a final desperate attempt to destroy his Rifter before midnight Sobczynski entered Amamake. As usual there was an NPC harassment in progress forcing Sobczynski to take immediate action. Two attempts to prosecute the Thorax pilot failed. Despite of breaking the Thoraxes tank and destroying two flights of Hammerhead I drones the perpetrator got away by using ECM once again.
Log Abstract:
[ 2011.02.13 23:16:07 ] (notify) Target is invulnerable.
[ 2011.02.13 23:16:08 ] (notify) Target is invulnerable.
gf everybody!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Interstellar Dramiel Burst Postponed
There I sat in my Rupture minding my own business. You know, like running through management Powerpoint slides about how Pator Tech School will change the NPC corporation game in Q3 ("significantly") and how to improve KPIs within my board area, which had been renamed (again) recently to Piracy and Piracy Related Services (PTS PPRS) when suddenly this rambunctious Dramiel shows up on scan with a rather young pilot behind the wheel.
Now, there seems to be a rule that any pilot not currently sitting in or in fleet with a Dramiel hates that little frigate. Rest assured, I'm a rare exception to this rule, I just think they should all go to faction hell the second they undock. Musing about Dramiels and their general hateability, life, the universe and everything I had an idea: Wouldn't it be nice if this Dramiel had an unfortunate accident?
Only few minutes later, the faction frigate still on scan I pulled myself together: Why should I rely on accidents happening here?
I'm a pirate damn it and every ship on scan is an accident waiting to happen!
Soon after I figured out which one was the warp button the warm vibrations of my warp drives caressed my butt - I was about to put myself in a belt hoping the Dramiel would join. Meanwhile I was building up my hate using a new technique I had been taught at a PTS workshop last tuesday, by imagining the Dramiel pilot chatting with his Dramiel buddies in a Dramiel pilots only channel, laughing about us non-Dramiel pilots. Boy, that got me angry! PVP, you know, is all about the right amount of hate and stuff.
A few seconds after I arrived 100km from the belt the Dramiel followed and burned towards my position. As usual I overheated everything and as he entered the 35km radius I started my MWD flying away from him and let slip the dogs of war. Also I had a blood thirsty flight of Warrior II drones sent his direction.
The hard part of killing a Dramiel with a Rupture is to actually hit it without dying first. It's even harder not to let them warp out once they see you refuse to die first. And the hardest part of them all is to see them actually do it. I cried when the Dramiel warped out in hull while my coward crew was relieved to live another day.
OK, there goes my plan to keep my blog posts short, simple and informative. I seem to have exhausted all my energy before I even started to write about what I set out to in the first place: How I killed that same Dramiel a few days later. This, much like the destruction of the faction frigate, will have to be postponed.
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| Heart Shaped Box |
Only few minutes later, the faction frigate still on scan I pulled myself together: Why should I rely on accidents happening here?
I'm a pirate damn it and every ship on scan is an accident waiting to happen!
Soon after I figured out which one was the warp button the warm vibrations of my warp drives caressed my butt - I was about to put myself in a belt hoping the Dramiel would join. Meanwhile I was building up my hate using a new technique I had been taught at a PTS workshop last tuesday, by imagining the Dramiel pilot chatting with his Dramiel buddies in a Dramiel pilots only channel, laughing about us non-Dramiel pilots. Boy, that got me angry! PVP, you know, is all about the right amount of hate and stuff.
| In a fast german pirate faction ship, I'm amazed that I survived. An airbag saved my life! |
The hard part of killing a Dramiel with a Rupture is to actually hit it without dying first. It's even harder not to let them warp out once they see you refuse to die first. And the hardest part of them all is to see them actually do it. I cried when the Dramiel warped out in hull while my coward crew was relieved to live another day.
OK, there goes my plan to keep my blog posts short, simple and informative. I seem to have exhausted all my energy before I even started to write about what I set out to in the first place: How I killed that same Dramiel a few days later. This, much like the destruction of the faction frigate, will have to be postponed.
Friday, January 7, 2011
PTS Customer Satisfaction Strategy 2011
Starting with Q1 2011 PTS will ramp up the new Customer Satisfaction Strategy as part of our corporate excellence initiative:
Now, if you have complaints about me as a PTS pilot please let me know. Convo me in game or leave a comment here. Later I might even post a complaint report template here for your convenience.
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| In your Face, Competitors! |
At Pator Tech School (PTS), we believe that complaint resolution is important, and it is crucial for our corporate strategy to respond to complaints promptly, accurately and with the utmost courtesy. We will provide our customers with accessible means with which to communicate their complaint, and will employ our best efforts to respond and resolve where possible. All complaints and personal information collected, whether written or oral, must be handled in a timely, professional and confidential manner. Our clients are entitled to no less.I for one am fully aligned to the board's game changing strategy and I will support them with all my passion.
Now, if you have complaints about me as a PTS pilot please let me know. Convo me in game or leave a comment here. Later I might even post a complaint report template here for your convenience.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Space Xmas at Pator Tech School
I just wanted to tell you that contrary to what I wrote in a previous post I will stay at Pator Tech School. Luckily my poor performance and efficiency records weren't that crucial after all when I pushed for the CEO's soft spot at the holiest of corporate events: The Xmas Party.
I won a drinking duell (old school consensual cocktail PVP) against my CEO at the Pator Tech School Holiday Party last friday during which I got him to sign my contract extension. He went straight from structure to pod when he started orbiting rapidly at close range and I reloaded and started shooting Strawberry Margaritas for better tracking. Also I might have put some acid in his Caipirinha. GF and hurray!
Afterwards my indian co-pilot Saranjit and I found out what all those chinese* tattoos on the back of one of our female colleagues meant, but she wouldn't let us know where the sentence ended! So being the professionals we are we resorted to classy remarks about female anatomy in general and a lot of groping on the dance floor.
Couldn't convince Saranjit not to fly home drunk though - hope he didn't get concordified.
* I couldn't read it and it wasn't russian.
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| Cookie Cutter Lemon Fit FTW! |
Afterwards my indian co-pilot Saranjit and I found out what all those chinese* tattoos on the back of one of our female colleagues meant, but she wouldn't let us know where the sentence ended! So being the professionals we are we resorted to classy remarks about female anatomy in general and a lot of groping on the dance floor.
Couldn't convince Saranjit not to fly home drunk though - hope he didn't get concordified.
* I couldn't read it and it wasn't russian.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Happy Anniversary!
Almost without noticing I recklessly trashed my 200th T1 Frigate. Sentry Guns, how appropriate! According to Panthe Tek I should be expelled from Pator Tech School any minute now:
Oh how I will miss the inspiring environment at Pator Tech School! Also as a PTS pilot you have quite some reputation, you're expected to strut around any low sec system like you own the place, while BC gangs will hesitate to engage, probers will offer help, haulers jettison their most valuable items! And all this just because I was flying under the feared PTS flag!
How will I survive alone? Will I survive at all? Will any of the other top notch NPC corps hire a down and out PTS pilot?
Maybe there's still something that can be done about it. I've scheduled a meeting with my CEO to clarify the matter.
I read a CCP Dev wrote that after explushioning your 200th Rifter an automated script kicks you from your current NPC Corp and moves you to the opposing most-hated faction, in your case, Amarr.
Oh how I will miss the inspiring environment at Pator Tech School! Also as a PTS pilot you have quite some reputation, you're expected to strut around any low sec system like you own the place, while BC gangs will hesitate to engage, probers will offer help, haulers jettison their most valuable items! And all this just because I was flying under the feared PTS flag!
How will I survive alone? Will I survive at all? Will any of the other top notch NPC corps hire a down and out PTS pilot?
Maybe there's still something that can be done about it. I've scheduled a meeting with my CEO to clarify the matter.
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