The Greatest Thing since Bread Came Sliced

[Yeah yeah, I know this is an old post. Google ate it, coughed it up and yada yada yada here it is again! Not that it got any better.]

Kramer: Oh, I've cut slices so thin, I couldn't even see them.
Elaine: How did you know you cut it?
Kramer: Well ... I guess I just assumed.

I can see you perverts!

Let's have this out of the way right from the start: The Slicer is no looker. While some mistakenly believe the design is taken from two knifes, to - d'oh - "slice things up" to me it looks more like two uneven toe nails. You know like those you found behind the couch in the room of that room mate which disappeared months ago after she had that long talk with those weird guys and she seemed a little spaced out that whole evening and said she needed to clip her nails really urgently and later it turned out she wasn't a girl after all? But I'm willing to lower my asthetic standards for the Slicer. I love the damn thing! And after a short rethoric break to increase suspension and with a slightly lower voice I will explain why.

From forums and blog posts I gather that there's an approximate number of 200 DPS a small ship must be able to dish out to solo effectively. Effectively here means being able to engage and kill the enemy's ship before the obvious support gang warps in. My personal answer to that particular low sec dilemma is not DPS but range and speed: My primary tool is the '89 Rifter with 280mm curlers. That Rifter is faster than any AB frigate I met so far and I can give the opponent a proper facial peeling from outside scram range. If his friends show up I simply warp out on him and maybe I'll moon him later from a safe distance.

OK, I could cross that bridge now I've prepared so masterfully, from that long range flavour Rifter to the long range Slicer. But I'm still not done with its looks, dammit. So toenails aside: What's the deal with those headlights? I mean, is it supposed to blind the opponent like a rabbit? To be completely honest with you, I just mentioned that so I can embed this awesome video which does not have any rabbits at all. Except in the title.

Ok, so the Slicer is the obvious choice for the 280mm Rifter pilot. With T2 Medium Pulse Lasers, Scorch and a tracking helper I have an optimal of more than 20 kilometers to safely and conveniently MWD-orbit the victim. My pussy fit does like 140 DPS overheated, and yes I went for the DC instead of a gyrostabilizer heat sink. I've got this fit from Panthe Tek, a great admirer of the Slicer, who got it from another guy and then I made it a little uncooler with the DC to fit my german angst flying style:

[Imperial Navy Slicer, Angst]
Damage Control II
Beta Reactor Control: Capacitor Power Relay I
Overdrive Injector System II
Tracking Enhancer II
Local Hull Conversion Nanofiber Structure I

Catalyzed Cold-Gas I Arcjet Thrusters
Warp Disruptor II

2xMedium Pulse Laser II, Scorch S

Small Energy Burst Aerator I
Small Energy Locus Coordinator I
Small Low Friction Nozzle Joints I

The problem I'm currently working on is that I'm losing it like a Rifter: Frequently. But this post has taken enough of your time now, I'll postpone the whining about my losses!