Monday, May 23, 2011

Shrink

Gotta see somebody ...
Every pilot has a breaking point. And I my friends, may just have reached mine.

I used to think that wouldn't happen to me. I used to make dirty jokes about those pilots that didn't want to get back in a combat ship after being podded. I used to laugh about pilots that hesitated to pod innocent miners.

Now where do I start, where do I start? I haven't slept in days. I'm cracking up!

I had found a Rifter pilot in an Amamake belt, I engaged, destroyed the ship, warp disrupted the pod. When I opened coms to negotiate a fee my request was blocked. I sent a gf through local and shot the pod. Thirty minutes later in Siseide I noticed a familiar looking Rifter, the same guy, Jeremaya, obviously looking for revenge. Just to get on with our lives I warped to a random belt and waited. Few seconds later the unfortunate Jeremaya followed and again my mighty 280mm guns prevailed and I also managed to point his pod. Now I didn't really want to pod him as I saw a friendly gf flashing up in local, but I was all like click disruptor, ctrl+click pod, click guns and wait. Before I knew it his pod was exterminated and that lonely gf which I wasn't able to return blinked there in local. Accusingly. Why did I pod him a second time? I really didn't want to! Oh, what had I done? The guilt, the unbearable guilt!

I have podded dozens of pilots and I have been podded dozens of times too. I don't know whats different this time. But I know I gotta see a shrink or I'll be cracking up! I will consult that shrink at Pator Tech School headquarters, I need some ... HALP. What is happening to me?

1 comment:

  1. I don't know why you pod.
    But tell me, young lad, since I wield a pipe now and speak with a northern english accent, what can you tell me about your mother? What were your first distinctive moments as a child? Were you happy? Who were your friends back then, and did they like to play with you? Tell me about your early childhood.

    <insert long pause>

    Personally I shoot pods because I like to imagine the cracking sound they make when they pop. Like insects. Bwahaha.
    Ahh, childhood memories, destroyer of worlds. Come to think, I was more of a badass back then when I was still 6 years old.

    (PS: Excellent movie, The Machinist)

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