Rifter Tactics 101: Megathron Mission Runner Massacre

Welcome to another installment of Rifter Tactics 101.
A frequent topic of discussion in our corporate cafeteria is: Can a Rifter take on a Megathron battleship? And how? Let's find out! (Ok, that part with the cafeteria is totally made up. I just read Eveoganda's Friday Fight the other day and thought I might share a believable real life example.)

A few months ago I probed a mission runner in a Megathron battleship. Not because I was looking for one, it's just that battleships are so easy to probe and I was bored by minding my own business. For my convenience the pilot hadn't bothered to rename his ship, so I knew who was flying the damn thing: A pilot much younger than me! In a battleship! Imaginary crew to battle stations!

Fig. A: Approaching the Prey

Be assured that the following maneuvers have been tried by me and reviewed by the Pator Tech School Flight Patterns & Post Flight Analysis Group, so it's safe for you too (and your kids) to try at home. Now the instructions:

1. It's best to approach such a beast as the Megathron in a slightly modified bumble bee pattern (see figure A).
2. Overheat the guns and engage the enemy when you reach position 2 in the picture I drew. (still figure A!)
3. Rain bullets on him like there's no tomorrow for like ten minutes:
   [ 2010.11.20 14:21:39 ] (combat) Your group of 280mm Howitzer Artillery II hits Customer 'Customer's Megathron'(Megathron), doing 391.5 damage.
   The Megathron should explode now. Just kidding. But maybe you can take out one of its wind shield wipers.



Fig. B: The Heimlich Maneuver

4. When the Megathron pilot starts noticing you a lot of error messages will likely pop up within a very short amount of time. Like this one:
   [ 2010.11.20 14:31:44 ] (combat) Hobgoblin II belonging to Customer heavily hits you, inflicting a lot of damage.
    You can safely ignore them for now …
   
5. … but not for long: When you see smoke coming out of your Rifter's propulsion thing it's time for the Heimlich Maneuver. I know it's frowned upon by so called "pros" but I like to use it now and then (see Figure B). Especially in situations like this.
6. I won't go into much detail about the Heimlich Maneuver as it's part of every pilot's training. Just make sure to fly it according to the book and align and warp out safely somewhere at position 5 in figure B.
7. Start smacking in local! Do it!

I think if the other pilot had slept a little longer and I had fleeted with some nearby friends in battleships the fight could have easily gone the other way!

And one other thing: I need a bigger ship with embiggened gun implants!